Sunday, July 20, 2008

Tough Job

It is amazing how many grandparents are raising children for various reasons. Whatever the reasons, it is certainly a tough job because this gives the grandparents a second go around in enforcing rules and helping young people develop into responsible adults. Another thing that makes it difficult is the fact that grandparents are usually older and having to battle their own ills in addition to the sicknesses and problems that their grandchildren face. This makes grandparents raising children both a blessing and a treasure. They are to be commended for the job that they do.
Grandparents raising children will have their own set of rules that must be followed within their home. The kids may see these rules as harsh, but these are the rules that they know. They may set certain guidelines for such things as internet use, TV watching, and video game playing, which are things that they didn't have to contend with when growing up or raising their own children. Nevertheless, setting rules is very important so that the kids know what to get by with and what not to get by with.
If you are one of the many grandparents raising children, then you know exactly what is being spoken of in terms of rules. If you have any questions regarding what needs to be done with kids nowadays, there are great websites to visit and sources at the library to help you.
The family meeting can be a great tool for grandparents raising children. These meetings are used as a great communication tool. There are several things that can be incorporated into a family meeting. Those things include doing a fun activity, talking about positive things that have happened over the week, talk about what is going to happen in the coming week, and talk about things in the distant future. The family meeting can also be used as a tool to check homework that the kids have done. This is a great way for grandparents raising children to find out what is happening in the children's lives.
Another thing the family meeting can be used for is coming up with house rules. Ask the kids what they think would be fair house rules. This means they will not forget. If their rules are flawed, you can reach a compromise. It is a great way for grandparents raising children to see how their grandchildren think and see what they view as fair. Basically, doing such things helps grandparents raising children see what kind of people their grandchildren are becoming. Having them design house rules shows what type of morals they have. This makes the family meeting a great tool for grandparents raising children.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ian_Pennington

Reasons why

As a fellow grandparent I am sure you will agree, the world is not what it used to be. According to the 2000 census there are 4.5 million grandchildren living with either one or both grandparents. Knowing grandparents rights to grandchildren custody has never been more important.
Many times the grandparents are caught between the proverbial rock and a hard place. They are concerned about and love their grandchildren, but at the same time they do not want to come between the grandkids and their parents, one of which is their child.
Why are grandparents getting trapped between the grandkids and their mother and father? There are many reasons and they are multiplying.
Some of those reasons are:
" Number one has to be divorce. Divorce is rampant in our society. We cannot get into cause in this article, but the fallout is the kids. Often one parent cannot support themselves and the kids. So, many times the grandparents have to come to the rescue.
" Drugs are another very important cause for kids in distress. The grandparents find themselves having to help, not only their grandchildren, but also a son or daughter in trouble. This can be a terrible strain on an individual or couple living on a fixed retirement.
" Separation of parents of the children. This can be one of the hardest situations on the child as they do not know who they belong with. Is it the mother, the father, or the grandparent?
" Maybe the most difficult to deal with is when there is abuse.
There are a lot of reasons, but reasons do not solve problems. Not that there is a simple solution to any of these problems.
The main thing is to remember there is life ahead. You, as a grandparent, may be having a tough time now, but it doesn't have to always be this way.
Remember you are the only one who can make you happy, and the only one who can give someone else permission to make you un-happy. Even in the mists of your deepest trial you can still hold your head up and enjoy parts of your life.
What can you do in a situation like this?
" A big number one...Do not panic? I know it sometimes seems overwhelming, but there are things you can do. Look for a support group. Many churches have different support groups. Try the forums. Just put grandparents + forum in a search browser and you will find several.
" Seek legal advice. I know. You may be short of cash and do not want to get involved with an attorney. But, you will need an attorney, sooner or later, so at least talk to one before you get too deep. And, check with several. Find one you like and feel you can trust, and who knows what's up.
" Look for online help. There will be a link below that leads to information that will be of help to you. You need all of the help you can get.
I realize this is your child, as well as, your grandchild that's involved. It is a fine line between the welfare of the grandchildren and your relationship with your child.
But, you must make the tough decisions. Things may never, and probably won't, ever be the same. Some times life gets tough.
All you can do is get as much information as you can find and afford and keep trying.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stephen_Wisley

What happened?

What happened? You were just settling into the empty nest thing and everything was going smooth. Now there is constant noise and problems, problems and more problems. This is the life of a grandparent with grandkids. Do we really need this?
You had thoughts of peaceful afternoons, catching up on the reading and taking walks in the park. Now, its constant run the kids, fix the meal, wash the cloths, fix the next meal, and you still have to go to work.
What happened?
Well, life happened. Our culture is such that traditional lifestyles have been turned upside down. In fact, according to the 2000 Census, 4.5 million grandkids live with their grandparent or grandparents. You've seen it on Oprah and now you are living it.
Divorce is a major cause of displaced children. Often, the mother is the custodial parent. She is trying to juggle a job, find a place to call home, put her life back together, and raise the kids. Sometimes it is just too much.
Drugs and alcohol often play a big part in reason for the grandchildren to be in your home and not their own. They don't have one, because their parents have chose to ignore their responsibility for their own lifestyle. Poor choice, but that doesn't change facts.
There are many other reasons, such as, financial, lack of interest in the child by the parents, death and, sad to say, abuse.
What do grandparents need to know
You must know your legal rights. Yes, I know you are dealing with your child as well as your grandchildren. But, believe me things can get very sticky when dealing with family.
For your protection and the protection of your grandchildren you must know where you stand and what rights you have.
You must decide if you are going to keep the children for an extended period of time or for only a short period. Sometimes we like to think this will be over soon and it lasts for a lifetime. So, be aware.
It is best to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. That way you will be presently surprised when things turn out great for everyone.
Where can you find info?
Unfortunately, there are few resources available at this time. I don't think society has caught up with this problem yet. People just do not realize the magnitude of the problem grandparents are facing on a daily basis. But, there are a few places you can go and I will detail some of those below.
• Look for support from other family members, local and national organizations, your local church support groups and online forums. Do not be too proud to let others know you need a little help.
• Take care of yourself. If you get discouraged and overwhelmed you cannot help your grandchildren and children. You must meet your physical and emotional health needs.
• Talk with a lawyer. Not just any lawyer. Not all lawyers are knowledgeable in this area. You have to know your legal rights about caring for, and maybe custody of, your grandchildren. Again, this is necessary to protect yourself and the kids.
I know it is not a job you asked for, but it is here. You must arm yourself with all the knowledge you can find. You can do this, I know you can.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Stephen_Wisley

Grandparents Rules

It is amazing how many grandparents are raising children for various reasons. Whatever the reasons, it is certainly a tough job because this gives the grandparents a second go around in enforcing rules and helping young people develop into responsible adults. Another thing that makes it difficult is the fact that grandparents are usually older and having to battle their own ills in addition to the sicknesses and problems that their grandchildren face. This makes grandparents raising children both a blessing and a treasure. They are to be commended for the job that they do.
Grandparents raising children will have their own set of rules that must be followed within their home. The kids may see these rules as harsh, but these are the rules that they know. They may set certain guidelines for such things as internet use, TV watching, and video game playing, which are things that they didn't have to contend with when growing up or raising their own children. Nevertheless, setting rules is very important so that the kids know what to get by with and what not to get by with.
If you are one of the many grandparents raising children, then you know exactly what is being spoken of in terms of rules. If you have any questions regarding what needs to be done with kids nowadays, there are great websites to visit and sources at the library to help you.
The family meeting can be a great tool for grandparents raising children. These meetings are used as a great communication tool. There are several things that can be incorporated into a family meeting. Those things include doing a fun activity, talking about positive things that have happened over the week, talk about what is going to happen in the coming week, and talk about things in the distant future. The family meeting can also be used as a tool to check homework that the kids have done. This is a great way for grandparents raising children to find out what is happening in the children's lives.
Another thing the family meeting can be used for is coming up with house rules. Ask the kids what they think would be fair house rules. This means they will not forget. If their rules are flawed, you can reach a compromise. It is a great way for grandparents raising children to see how their grandchildren think and see what they view as fair. Basically, doing such things helps grandparents raising children see what kind of people their grandchildren are becoming. Having them design house rules shows what type of morals they have. This makes the family meeting a great tool for grandparents raising children.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ian_Pennington